Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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