I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
too bad you live with your parents still
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
