So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
home. puking in laundry basket.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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