Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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