Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
