I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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