a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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