Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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