hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
