i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
