I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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