you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
