i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I need a beard to bite.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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