ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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