We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
