that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
