we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
