I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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