The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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