im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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