im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize