epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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