Ambien. No doubt about it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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