Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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