Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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