every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
