just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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