Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
