I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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