Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
