i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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