return my video game
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
