So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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