Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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