Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
