Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
