sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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