Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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