We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
