That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
