I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
tonight lets celebrate not being married
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize