Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
