So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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