i barfeds in our rink
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
