Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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