3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize