I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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