HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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