Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
