she was so not down for the gang bang
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
