With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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