He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
