Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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