spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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