the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
