The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
