Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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