i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
