If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
