she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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